Just as a boy and a girl before marriage prepare themselves mentally for a new life and prepare themselves for a new environment and new responsibilities – this preparation also extends to other members of the household.
Marriage is not just a union of a boy and a girl but it is a union of two families and as the Prime Minister and Head of the House, the environment of the house is prepared for it even before the arrival of the daughter-in-law.
It is the most important responsibility of a mother-in-law before preparing other people for it, a mother-in-law herself must make some changes and decisions within herself before the arrival of the daughter-in-law, which I will tell you about today.
Mother-in-Law’s decisions before the Daughter-in-Law’s (DIL) arrival is pivotal for the honorable living in joint family system especially in Indo-Pak. House can be converted into a sweet home where there is love, respect and belongingness. Before the arrival of the daughter-in-law, some changes that the mother-in-law will have to make in herself will be something like this;
1. Controlling my Tongue
My talking and silence will be to keep the atmosphere of the house pleasant. As a leader of the house, a mother-in-law’s main responsibility is to decide when to speak and when to remain silent, because it is the language that makes a person sit on the throne or ascend to the throne. A controlled tongue is the key for keeping and maintaining a smooth relationship.
For God’s sake hold your tongue, and let me love.
John Donne
2. Praising my Daughter-in-Law
Your daughter-in-law has left her parents and her home and came to you, she is also someone’s daughter, just as you forgive your daughter’s mistakes and appreciate her good deeds – adopt the same principle for daughter-in-law too. By this way she will feel welcomed and will start respecting from the core of their heart.
Our son has given us many gifts, but the best is you, dear.
Daughter-in-law by relation, friend by connection.
Quotes – Daughter-In-Law
3. Controlling the External Involvements
Will not allow married daughters to interfere in the house. Now the identity of your house is your daughter-in-law, your daughter is the beauty of someone else’s house, so do not allow your married daughters to interfere in the internal affairs of the house.
May homes have been drawn to ashes and many relationships have been broken due to external involvement from the neighbors or the closed relatives.
4. Keeping Issues Inside Home
I will not talk about issues of the house with those outside the house. When the word comes out of the tongue, it becomes public, therefore, do not talk about your house or your daughter-in-law’s fault to any servant or outside the house, because the other person will amplify it and present it to others. Your daughter-in-law may have a bad heart for you. So keep others secrets so that they keep yours.
5. No Interference in Couple Relationship
I will not interfere in the affairs of my daughter-in-law and son. The interference of a third party in the mutual affairs of the spouses complicates these matters. Therefore, avoid interfering in their affairs and, even if absolutely necessary, favor the right one rather than the wrong doer. Support even if it is against your son.
A man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he has been born and raised in arms of a queen.
Author
6. Stop Criticizing DIL
I will avoid criticizing my daughter-in-law’s parents. No one can bear the evil of his parents, so criticizing her parents in front of daughter-in-law can alienate your daughter-in-law. Instead, praise her parents in front of her can play an important role in connecting you.
7. Avoid Monitoring Sleep Timings
I will not try to control daughter-in-law’s sleeping or eating routines. Usually, daughter-in-law’s sleeping in the early days of marriage or before children is often frowned upon by the in-laws.
In this regard, special efforts should be made to give proof of broad-mindedness by giving the daughter-in-law time and opportunity to adapt herself to the environment of your home, instead of changing her eating, drinking and sleeping habits.
My son seemed to be happy when he was single, now that he has married you I realized he was just pretending! I’ve never seen a bigger smile on his face before!
DIL Quotes
Conclusion
There is no one definitive answer to the question of how best to have a mother in law and daughter in law relationship. It depends on the individual couple and their specific circumstances.
If every mother-in-law makes such promises to herself before bringing daughter-in-law into the house, then there is no question of any kind of problems arising between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Make your house a home where everyone flourishes with happiness and kindness. Pave your ways, set new patterns of love and belongingness. Give respect and be respected.
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